I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
