i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
