My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
