thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
