Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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