No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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