At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize