Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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