she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
