Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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