just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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