I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
