my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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