your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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