yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
