Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I stole a fireplace last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
