i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
