Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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