i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
