I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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