First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You've changed since you got that strap on
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
