I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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