imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
