Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
