I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
