Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize