I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
