"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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