So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
