You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize