How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
