I'm drive I can fine osifer
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
