dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
