and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
