White coat. Heels.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
