Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
