he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
