pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
