I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
