Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i out mim tonsoeep
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
