if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
