dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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