im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
