Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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