Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
