He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize