i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize