Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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