The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
