How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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