I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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