why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need moral support for this bender
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
