2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i permit you to call me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
