You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
