# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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