so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
