we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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