I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
