What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
