New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
